Yesterday I was sitting by Ian and got so excited because he just seemed so ready to wake up and talk. He is showing us more and more frequently that he is with us and that he is working so hard to come back to us. I have a lot of updates that I want to give, but it's late and my thoughts aren't very clear, so here comes just a bulleted list.

• Ian seems to me to be remembering more. Yesterday I held up a picture of us from vacation last year and asked him if he remembered it. He said he did. He responded like that to another question that I had for him recently about a memory. Before he didn't really respond consistently when I asked him about his memory.
• He made a sound today that was the farthest from groaning that I've heard. It was almost like a "cha" sound, but it wasn't super clear. It was just great to hear something besides a groan. Maybe his speech is on it's way back......
• Heather is teaching him how to roll over in bed. I heard reports that today he was basically able to do it. and even repeated it for someone.
• Mom, he ate several spoonfuls of your applesauce the other day:)
• Amanda said that yesterday was the hardest that Ian has ever worked for her. Praise God!
• Ian was so so tired tonight that he couldn't even hold his head up. Praise God again! It is good to him to be that tired because it means he is working very, very hard.

Please pray that Ian makes significant progress. He needs God to deliver him. He is in there but he can't get himself out. Please pray that he will not be discouraged, frustrated or bored.

Thank you all for serving us through your prayers....

Larissa

The glory of heaven

I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worth

comparing with the glory that is to be revealed to us.

Romans 8:18

Wikipedia can't capture in words what the glory of heaven will be; no reference work or book or speaker could either. Paul, the writer of the letter of Romans, wrote in another part of his letter that the hope of this glory, the glory that Christians will experience, will not disappoint us. Not only is it a guarantee, but it will be beyond what we could even comprehend. It will not disappoint us in any way. In this part of his letter, Paul presents a dramatic contrast between the suffering we experience here on earth and that glory we'll experience in heaven. As intense as Paul's suffering must have been (he was frequently persecuted physically and eventually killed for his faith), he saw it as a quickly fading memory.

I saw this drab old barn in my travels. It's not something you would stop and admire and then tell your friends about. You probably wouldn't even notice it; if you did, it would quickly fade from your memory. This suffering Ian is experiencing and that we're experiencing will be like that - a memory that will immediately fade when we enter heaven. We won't even think about it. I can't wait.

Ian had a visit this week from Heath- a friend he made during his internship last summer working for Haverstick Films. I think it was the highlight of Ian's week. He was as fully engaged as we've ever seen him. We had been telling him that his friend would be visiting, and it was as if he didn't want to take his normal afternoon nap. He didn't want to miss his friend's visit.

Thank you for praying.....

Steve

So close to the surface

Today, Ian pointed to his stomach. I couldn't figure out why despite asking several questions that might have led me to understand what he was trying to say. Then, later, it occurred to us that because of the circumstances he was two hours past his lunch. He was pointing to his stomach for one reason that should have been obvious. Duh.



Tonight, he was with friends he hadn't seen in a long time, and he was so alert and attentive as they interacted with each other and as they talked to him.



It's as though he's so close to the surface that we can see him in there, but we can't get him out. The Lord is the only one who can help him.



Steve

It's Not Always Going To Be Night

Some sections of Charles Spurgeons's devotional book, Morning and Evening, from July 21:

Can you answer this, believer? Can you find any reason why you are mourning instead of rejoicing?...Don't you know that day follows night, that flood comes after ebb, that spring and summer succeed winter? Hope then! Hope always! For God does not fail you. Don't you know that your God loves you in the midst of all this?...Cause the desert to ring with your exulting joys, for these light afflictions will soon be over, and then "forever with the Lord" your bliss shall never wane.

I found these parts encouraging and convicting. I realize that I am complaining every time something inconveniences me and my day. This sounds weird to me but we need to be thankful even when things happen that aren't in our will. I can think of numerous things that happened today that didn't go the way I wanted them to go and my first and automatic reaction is to whine. I don't want to complain because Ian's not fully with us and can't do what we always use to do together, I should be thankful that he's even here. We should be thankful that we are saved and can find peace with God. "Come to me all who labor and are heavy laden and I will give you rest" (Matthew 11:28). I have heard David and Mr. Altrogge (our pastor) give thankful words to God whenever something "went wrong." That is great a example to set for others. That is something that I am driving to accomplish just once.

And don't forget, Jesus didn't complain, let's do the same.

"Can you find any reason why you are mourning instead of rejoicing?...Cause the desert to ring with your exulting joys..."

Pray that God would help Ian, especially, to be at peace and not to complain.

-Caleb

Barabbas

Tonight, I was relating the story of Barabbas to Ian. Barabbas was a notorious murderer who was in jail for his crimes. When the people brought Jesus to the governor to be killed, he offered a choice to the people: he would either release Jesus or Barabbas. The people shouted for the governor, whose name was Pilate, to release Barabbas.

"What shall I do, then, with Jesus who is called Christ?" Pilate asked.

They all answered, "Crucify him!"
"Why? What crime has he committed?" asked Pilate.

But they shouted all the louder, "Crucify him!"

Then I reminded him that in the story, Barabbas represents us. We who are guilty go free while Jesus gets the punishment. Ian gave me a long, deliberate "yes" blink. It's as if he was agreeing with me that the love of Jesus is amazing.

Today, Ian did really well in responding to the therapists' requests. Thank you for the love you've shown Ian.

-Ben

Eyeball Earrings

A friend was in today to work with Ian. She's known Ian for a long time, and when he was younger Ian noticed and commented on a pair of earrings she had. He called them eyeball earrings, because they had a large black circle in the middle of them and looked to him like eyeballs. On Sunday when she visited, in honor of Ian's comments on that pair of earrings, she wore them when she came to visit. She took a lot of time to remind Ian of the story of when he had dubbed them "eyeball earrings".

Today, while she was working with him, he reached up to touch a different pair of earrings she was wearing as if he had noticed that she wasn't wearing the eyeball earrings. She asked him if he remembered her wearing them only two days ago, and he gave a long blink confirming that he remembered. That may sound insignificant, but for Ian it's huge. He's aware and is remembering things. Thank you, Lord.

Thank you for praying.

Steve

Please Pray For His Soul

If you pray for Ian, please make sure to pray for his spiritual health. Pray that he would find his happiness in God, and that he would keep his eyes on Jesus. Pray that he would be comforted and strengthened emotionally. He is having a more difficult time than anyone else is.

Ian is unable to walk, talk (he communicates "yes" or "no" through blinking), or perform other forms of normal daily living, so keep praying for his physical healing as well.

Thank you again so much.

-Ben

The Riches of Heaven

"Stop and think of it. Every good thing we know here on earth is a product of God's grace. And we who know Christ are going to heaven for this express purpose: so that God can showcase the infinite riches of His grace by showering His goodness on us endlessly. Does that not make your heart prefer the riches of heaven to the meager pleasures of earth?"

- John McArthur -

---

In one brief moment, Ian's life was changed. Ours was too. The pleasures of earth seem so much more meager since that day. I long for heaven.

---

I was sitting behind Ian in church today. After the meeting was almost over, I leaned forward to whisper some encouragement in his ear. He was obviously attentive. Then, he turned his eyes and his head and looked right at me. It still startles me when he looks right at me, even though he's been doing that for a couple weeks now.

---

Come back to us, Ian.

---

Steve

He's Teaching Me - Part One

"I am the Alpha and the Omega, the first and the last, the beginning and the end."

When I pray for Ian, I try to remember to thank God that He knows the ending of this story. But I also want to be thankful that He not only knew, but He created, the beginning. Today was hard because Ian is not who he used to be. He is a constant reminder to me of how fleeting we are- and that is a great thing to be aware of. In one second, all that we have built our dreams on, all that we have boasted in, all that we have thought to define us can completely change. We can be stripped of all that we cling to.

But this is how God designed us. And He and His promised inheritance to us are everything that we are not: "imperishable, undefiled, and unfading" (1 Peter 1). What an encouraging contrast to look at Ian and then to look at Christ. Fleeting versus unchanging. But Ian in his condition is no different than any of us- we're not keeping our hearts beating on our own.

Thank you, Ian, for teaching me just how weak I am. Like always, you remind me daily of my need for a savior.

Thank you, God, that you yourself are the beginning and the end.

Please pray for Ian. His sore throat is back. He slept most of the day and we wouldn't be surprised if it's because his throat is hurting so much. Tonight he was groaning, and he told me it was because he was in pain. He also said that it hurts every time that he swallows. He's been doing so well at swallowing, but his sore throat really sets him back.

He also communicated to me tonight that he is discouraged. I don't know what specifically he is struggling with. But he has been completely stripped of the life that he knew. Who or what does he have to cling to but Christ? If he is struggling to believe true thoughts about God and to stay focused on the cross, this life has plenty for him to be discouraged about.

Lord, please have mercy.

Larissa

Ian did well today

Ian has been responding more quickly when he needs to swallow or when he's prompted by the therapists to swallow. That may seem trivial, but the fact that he's doing it at all is a miracle. Swallowing consistently has been one of those goals that so many therapists have been working toward for him, and lately he's been doing it.

We had him sitting up again tonight, and it's amazing how much progress he's made doing that. When we first started doing this with him, his movements were erratic and jerky, and he couldn't consistently swallow while he was sitting - as if he couldn't possibly do two complicated things at once. Now, he holds himself up very well (still needs help and has some way to go), his movements aren't so exaggerated, and he consistently swallows while he's sitting up. He wasn't doing any of this before we brought him home.

Yesterday was a valley on the road of recovery. Today was a hill. Thank you Lord.

Thank you for your prayers.

Steve

Slow progress

John 1:12-13 But to all who did receive him, who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God, who were born, not of blood nor of the will of the flesh nor of the will of man, but of God.

God breathed life into Ian's body and God has spared and sustained his life and God gave him new life. God can make him well again.

Ian continues to make very slow progress, but sometimes that takes him through valleys that seem like setbacks. He's been struggling with a sore throat which makes him not want to swallow, and he was responsive to the therapists only toward the end of their session with him.

Pray that the Lord would heal his throat. Pray that he would talk to us again. Pray for grace for all of us. I know you are. Thank you.

Steve

Heart of my own heart, whatever befall

Still be my vision, O ruler of all.

I love this hymn, Be Thou My Vision. I want to sing to God that whatever befall, He is my vision. Whatever befalls, He is Ian's vision. Another verse says "Thou and Thou only, first in my heart,High King of heaven, my Treasure Thou art." It is so easy to let something overcrowd our hearts and take the place of Christ as being first in our hearts. Today on the way home from work I was brought to tears realizing what I have allowed to steal my affections from Christ. Yet I still have my promised inheritance of eternity with Him no matter how great and how frequent my sins are. Because Jesus died on the cross for my sins, I am washed as white as snow. "Because of His great mercy he has caused us to be born again to a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead." Ian is a recipient of this same grace and mercy. If he is struggling in his thoughts right now to believe true things about God or if He is praising God for all that He accomplished at the cross, the status of Ian's, and our, salvation never changes.



Today, a new speech therapist visited Ian, and she was excited to see how much Ian responded to her requests. He's very alert now that he's off of an antibiotic that made him lethargic. He shook his head 'no'. He 'helps' when we try to move him. He even rolled his eyes at one person sarcastically in a very Ian kind of way. He responds to most of what the therapists ask him to do, except for swallowing. His throat is pinkish according to a nurse and very sore (he's reported that to us for that last few days), so he won't swallow as much as he was. Something so small for us is huge for him; please pray that the Lord would heal his throat.



Thank you



Larissa

Getting stronger

We've been sitting Ian up on a "treatment table" (sounds scary but it's just a low table with padding and vinyl top). The purpose is to get him to develop what the therapists call trunk control. We transfer him to the table from his bed or chair onto it, so he can learn to sit up without the aid of something behind him or on either side. Imagine trying to learn something so basic all over again, but Ian works really hard - we can tell. He seems to do better each time we try it. Tonight, he was sitting for about half an hour with only a little erratic movement.

Keep praying...

Steve

We spent the evening at Blue Spruce Park tonight with Ian. It's so nice to do normal things with him like going to the park and going to church. It was a perfect summer night.

Ian did a great job at sitting up this morning when Heather was here. He was balancing really well- Heather told him that she could tell he's been working on sitting a lot.

Ian has communicated to us over the past few days that he has a sore throat. Please pray that God would keep him in complete comfort and heal any pain in his body.

Thank you for praying.......

Larissa

Thro’ many dangers, toils and snares, I have already come

’tis grace has bro’t me safe thus far, and grace will lead me home.

1 Peter

1 Peter 5:10 says, "After you have suffered a little while, the God of all grace, who has called you to eternal glory in Christ, will himself restore, confirm, strengthen and establish you."

Context. That's what I'm learning. How to read scriptures in context. After a lengthy discussion with Steve about this passage, God has helped me to understand it in context to the rest of 1 Peter 5. Peter was speaking to the saints who had been dispersed from Jerusalem and were being persecuted for their faith. The book of 1 Peter seems to me to be a reminder to expect suffering on earth but that they are living with the hope of eternity with Christ.

When I read a passage in the Bible like "after you have suffered a little while," I get excited and think "oh goody, suffering for a little while, clearly that can't mean longer than a year...." But life on earth is just a "little while" compared to heaven. We might not ever see the end of this trial until we see Jesus face to face. We can't hold tightly to anything except Christ. While we are here, we may be restored, confirmed, strengthened and established to a degree, but we will never fully be any of those until we are with the Lord.

But suffering our entire lives here is what most clearly reveals God to us and most intensely gives us the desire for heaven. That's right where God wants us to be. And suffering is where He has us now.

Larissa

Why?

I'm sure you've had that scary question hiding in the shadows if you haven't already fought with it. Why did God allow Alivia to die? Why did God allow Ian to experience this terrible ordeal? Why would He allow such heartache for the families and close friends? It's a scary question, because the answer could be that God is either not in control or not kind by nature or not caring enough to notice. I've had to do battle with that question by reminding myself of the truth of who God is.

This mushroom grew up in my yard almost overnight, and within a couple of days it was gone again. We're just as temporary as that mushroom. The right question, then, is the one the Psalmist asks (Psalm 8:4): "what is man that you are mindful of him and the son of man that you care for him?" Why do you care for such a temporary creature when you are eternal and so full of glory that we can't even comprehend it? Why do you care for creatures who have rebelled against you and gone their own way? Why do you let any of us live at all?

Still, to be honest, the question won't die. I have to walk away from it with a brash confidence that it won't take me down and remind myself that I don't have all the answers. My protection is the truth that God reveals about Himself in His Word. It's my only hope.

Ian continues to take very small steps toward recovery. It's good to come home from work, sit down next to him in his wheelchair, and have him turn his head toward me and look right at me. When I think about where he was, it really is amazing to see his progress.

Pray for Ian.

Steve

Ian had a good day yesterday. He smiled in the morning when Frank and I were talking to him about Ben's dancing at a wedding this weekend. Later is the day he used his voice for me and I didn't even ask him to. It's like he just really wanted to say something to me.

Please continue to pray.

Larissa

Pudding and Pears

Ian has been eating spoonfuls of pudding and baby food - pears mostly. Three times a day Mary feeds him, and he started out slow at first. Now, he's taking 5 or 6 spoonfuls or more at each "meal." He swallows relatively quickly, too. Progress.

He's able to communicate some through blinks, but we have to ask the right questions. Larissa and Mary are better at getting the message than I am. I'm not sure why I don't get it.

I made a "treatment table" that we've been using to help get his balance again and for working him out. He's been sitting up in his bed working on "trunk control," but the therapists said it would be better to have a firmer surface and suggested a table like the one I made. It was my 4th of July project.

Steve

Keep working hard, Ian. We're praying for you.

"For his sake I have suffered the loss of all things and count them as rubbish, in order that I may gain Christ and be found in him...."

Philippians 3:8-9

One paradox of suffering is the willingness to give up absolutely everything that I have to be relieved of suffering and the beauty of the sweet communion with Christ that comes in deepest times of sorrow.

Fortunately, we are but dust, and the hand that has sovereignly brough us into affliction to continue our santification and to bring glory to himself is the same hand that will lead us to eternity with Him.

Larissa

Baby Wivvy

Each night for so long our daughter Lydia has prayed for Ian, for another friend of hers (Ainsley), and for "Baby Wivvy." If we missed one of them, she insisted that we pray for them. Sadly, Alivia passed away this afternoon.

Until our experience with Ian, I couldn't have understood the sadness her parents and grandparents and other family members must feel right now. But, the memories of the sadness we felt those first couple days following his accident haven't faded. We thought we had lost him, and we thought it was only a matter of moments before the doctor came in with the news of Ian's departure into heaven. No analogy can capture the intensity of the sadness; no words can express it.

When I got the news this afternooon when I got home from work, I looked straight in Ian's face and told him again that I loved him. I told him how much I wanted him back.

We're all praying for Baby Wivvy's parents and grandparents and family now. I'm praying that they would find rest in the only One who can comfort them.

Steve

Alivia

http://aliviarachelhaughery32005.blogspot.com/

Please pray that God heals this sweet little girl and that she makes it through the night.

Fourth of July

Ian really seemed to enjoy the fireworks tonight. Lydia was repeating something over and over like "look at that one, and that one, and that one, etc" and Ian turned his head to look at her with a great expression on his face. It was good to see him awake and really watching what was going on.

Please keep praying for more miracles...

Larissa

A testimony

I gave a testimony to the kids at youth camp of how God has helped us through this difficult experience. I hope it encourages you. Steve

On Saturday, September 30, 2006, I got the worst phone call of my life. Actually, it was a phone message and not a live person. The caller identified themselves as a social worker at UPMC Presbyterian and said, “Ian Scott Murphy was in a very serious car accident. He’s currently in surgery, and it would be good for relatives to be down here. Please call…”

For a brief period following that phone call fear took hold. But, remarkably, that was the only time I’ve really been able to identify fear in my heart over the last 8 months since the accident. I know myself; no one could convince me that the peace I’ve experienced is anything but the fruit of the Holy Spirit’s transforming grace and the work of His sustaining grace. Over the years as a believer, fear and anxiety have been regular visitors, frequently overstaying their welcome. Don’t misunderstand. They have certainly been a temptation, and grief and weariness have taken turns standing on my chest.

Two days after the accident things looked grim. His brain functions were dying; at one point Ian’s body had failed 3 of the 5 tests for brain death. The doctors had suggested he had hours or perhaps days to live, so we signed the organ donor papers and called a funeral home. But, we were at peace with him going home to be with Christ.

The next day, a doctor we had never met appeared in his scrubs in the waiting room where we were waiting for the news of Ian’s departure into heaven. Unbelievably, this doctor told us that Ian seemed to have gotten over the hump. I said, “I didn’t even know there was a hump for him to get over.” It was so unbelievable we even questioned his credentials – out loud – and he was the medical director for the ICU!

So began a journey down a long, difficult road filled with treacherous twists and turns in Ian’s condition, a fog of grim opinions by the medical staff, and the sounds of our own temptations to fear and unbelief. Scripture says that His Word is a lamp to our feet and a light to our path. The lamps the writers had in mind were oil lamps that literally only lit the few feet in front of them. I found that I had to just focus on the next step in front of me, even the next moment. Every day, it seems, I’ve prayed at some point during the day, “Lord, what do you want me to do next?”

Throughout this journey, I’ve recalled with gratitude so many examples of Ian’s faith and character and of our growing friendship. We’d had so many conversations about sin in his life and in mine and about the kindness of God; I’ve been so grateful for the times of genuine, biblical fellowship. I’ll never forget how grateful I felt when Ian came to me to ask me if I thought he was ready to pursue a relationship with a girl. He had someone in mind, and he came to me before he had approached her about his interest. When I asked why he was interested in this girl (whom I didn’t know), I was grateful to hear woven through his answer how important spiritual conviction and character was to him. Since the accident, I’ve gotten to know even more about Ian’s commitment to Christ as I’ve heard Larissa recount remarks he’d made to her and as I’ve observed her faith and character.

My relationship with Ian wasn’t always so good. Years ago, he wasn’t in a good place spiritually, and there were areas in my parenting where I was negligent. As a result, our relationship wasn’t as strong as it needed to be. There were many times when there was tension between us. I remember the night here at youth camp, though, when Ian came to me after a meeting filled with guilt over his many sins, and I knew the Holy Spirit was at work in his heart. The months and years that followed weren’t smooth sailing, but it was clear that the Holy Spirit was wrestling with him. Eventually, his repentance was genuine and thorough and so was mine. Gradually, as we talked a lot, things improved between us, and following the accident I felt the impact of that progress. I’ve been so grateful.

The biggest surprise on this journey has been the impact of the blog on the lives of so many people. In the beginning, almost 1,000 people a day visited the site. For decades, we’ve prayed for the salvation of so many people or just for opportunities to share the gospel, and the blog has opened up doors. So many who are unsaved have heard the message of the gospel. My son, Ben, said Ian might even have volunteered for this assignment if he had known how it would impact people.

This has been without question the hardest thing we’ve ever experienced. But, I believe the Lord will be faithful again just as he has been so many times in our lives. I believe he will show himself strong and God will be glorified.

Pray for Ian.

The One Who Encourages

Last week we aksed specifically for prayer that Ian would be encouraged. We've noticed over the last few days that he seems to be more like himself and more encouraged. In what specific ways the Lord has encouraged him, we may never know. But he has been communicating with us more regularly and several times he's given me a long blink when I asked him if he had a good day.

God really met Ian and I last night, just before each of us called it a night. I was praying with Ian that God would allow him to use his voice. I could tell by the way his breathing changed that he was really trying to speak and he used his blinks to tell me that he was trying too. We kept praying and eventually I heard his voice- a few times. How kind of God to give us that one small glimpse of his ability to strengthen Ian and His power to work in his body.

"that their hearts may be encouraged, being knit together in love, to reach all the riches of full assurance of understanding and the knowledge of God's mystery, which is Christ, in whom are hidden all the treasures of wisdom and knowledge."

Col 2:2-4

Thank you for praying for Ian. We keep praying that he comes back to us fully restored.

Larissa

We Were Chosen Out of Many

Psalms 30:1 says, "I will exalt you, O LORD, for you lifted me out of the depths and did not let my enemies gloat over me."
The part "you lifted me out of the depths" brought up a metephor of how we used to be before being saved: We were in the ocean and we were diving straight down into the dark depths, away from God. We were swimming in a sea of sin and rebellion but then God chose to save us. He reached His great hand down and yanked us up and out into the oxygen. As we broke the surface we gasped for breath and and we were relieved. I am so thankful that God has saved me from this and so should we all. I am so glad that we are saved from eternal extreme harm, especially since Ian is in the condition he's in. If I were not saved I would be confused, abandoned and probably depressed. If I were not saved Ian's car crash would be a total tragedy, but because I know God is behind it all I have faith in Him. God has given me that faith and that's the only way I'm going to make it through this situation.
Confusion is silenced by God's shown sovereignty, abondonedness is deserted because of God's Spirit that fills us with comfort, and depression should not be around if these things are true. Be thankful that you're saved. God's saving power not only saves us from hell, but also from discomfort in anyway if we ask for it - and even sometimes when we don't ask for it.

Pray for healing, but also pray that God would comfort my parents, Larissa, and especially Ian.

-Caleb