Ditto, Steve

On the way home from Ian's, I was thinking of what I would post tonight. I just read Steve's entry from last night, and I think maybe we're all learning similar things right now.

I don't know if I'll ever talk to Ian again. That thought has been causing me a lot of struggles in the past few days. Sometimes it feels like a cruel joke that the person that I enjoy the most in this world can't communicate with me right now. I just want a glimpse of what my future is, so that I can prepare my heart for a life with Ian as his wife, for a life as someone who comes to visit him, or for whatever role God has for me in Ian's life. I often feel like my future is way less certain than it was before September 30 just because it isn't happening as I planned it.

But God's grace is abundant and in His grace He kindly reminds me that absolutely nothing about my future has changed since the accident. The certainty of mine and Ian's future being good is just as sure now as before. I'm just now more aware that life doesn't always go how we plan it to go. But I know that even if I had the choice, I couldn't choose the perfect future for me anyway- only God in His wisdom can.

So I find myself in the same place as Steve, and Mary, and the boys, and Ian as well- living by the light of His word. Taking one step at a time. I can't imagine what it would've been like if I had known this accident was coming. God revealed it to me in His perfect timing. He will continue to do the same in my future.

Please continue to pray for Ian's right eye. We haven't seen him keep his eyes open for more than a few minutes in the past few days because they're bothering him so much.

Faith.Hope.Love.
Larissa

Patience is about taking the next step

Frank mentioned to me after a visit with Ian that he looked so good. It had been a while since Frank had seen Ian, and the difference was noticeable to him. We see him every day and don't always notice the changes. I'm learning through this experience with Ian to focus only on the next step - the next small step in his progress or the next thing we have to do or the next act of kindness by people or the next provision of the Lord. Reports like Frank's are a good reminder of how far Ian has come.

It occurred to me that focusing only on the next step or the next thing is how the Lord wants me to live. "Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light to my path" (Ps 119:105). An oil lamp (the only kind available when this was written) only lit enough of a dark road for the next step. I've walked on deserted roads at night where there is no light except the light of a flashlight (usually one with most of the juice gone); it's not the most comfortable stroll. That's what this experience feels like - a walk along a dark windy deserted road surrounded by woods (where animals live) with only a dim flashlight to light the next step. Living life this way forces me to put my confidence where it belongs: in His Word which declares his kindness and faithfulness and power. I'm learning that patience is about taking just the next step trusting that God is leading me and caring for me and protecting me.

Thank you for praying...

Steve

Thankful

Here’s a very short list of what we at the Murphy house are thankful for and more aware of post September 30:

The cross

That it is God who preserves us and sustains Ian. Ian’s salvation is established and assured no matter what state his mind and his thoughts are in. –M

For the amazing ways God has provided for our family, for Ian, and for Larissa. –S

The kindness of strangers. For people that don’t even know Ian who have prayed faithfully and people who have helped with the addition. There were individuals representing businesses all over town that worked to add to our project. –M

The church

That this is the best thing that could happen to Ian and the rest of us (we know this because of Romans 8:28). -B

Doctors and hospitals- but also that that we no longer have to see neurosurgeons every day or listen to the beeping of Ian’s heart monitor.-L

The week of living in the hospital back in early october: an excellent reminder of my need to rely on God through prayer. -B

The awareness that all that I have and all that I can do is given to me by God and can be taken away too if God wills it. A humbling lesson. –L

Blogs

God's promise that He will never leave nor forsake Ian. -L

A lot. -B

The Bible

“The Lord is my strength and my shield; in him my heart trusts, and I am helped; my heart exults, and with my song I give thanks to him” Psalm 28:7

Please continue to pray for Ian's right eye. It's starting to cause him a lot of pain and frustration because it itches but he isn't allowed to scratch it, in fear that the infection will spread.

Thank you....

Complaining

I visited Ian today, and he slept the entire time I was with him. That's not unusual for Ian when I'm there, though, and I know that he needs it to heal.

I've been thinking about complaining lately. What got me started was overhearing a few people complaining about something that seemed really trivial...well, trivial compared to the struggle that Ian is going through right now. There is often a sinful momentary angry uprising in my heart lately when I hear complaining. I'm angry, because I think they have no right to complain. "If anyone has a right to complain," I think, "it's us or Larissa or Ian." It's only momentary, because when I hear the complainer it seems my own complaining heart is echoing. Then I remind myself that Jesus would be the only one who would have a right to complain (if there is such a right, of course). What I experience of difficulty is nothing compared to what He experienced for me and nothing compared to what I should have experienced. The breadth and depth of His grace is amazing; how patient he is with me.

Pray for Ian.

Steve

Bananas and Toothbrushes

What a great day Ian had today. Because I'm tired and my thoughts aren't coming out in full sentences, I'll just make a list of all the cool things Ian did yesterday and today.

-We heard he had a great day yesterday in OT and PT. He was active with his legs and was working on using a toothbrush. The therapist helped him with it once and then asked him to do it on his own. But instead of doing it, he threw the toothbrush down. Hey, at least he's letting us know how he feels about things.

-He "slept" through OT and PT today, but I knew he wasn't actually sleeping because his eyelids were wrinkled like he was holding them shut. As soon as they put him in his chair at the end of his session, his eyes popped open and he just had this expression of being completely amused with himself for pretending to sleep through the entire session.

-Speech therapy today was very encouraging and exciting. Both Val, his therapist, and I were in tears. He started out with a toothbrush. Val held up a mirror and showed him how to brush his teeth. Then she asked him to do it. And he did. Once he put the toothbrush in his mouth and actually brushed his front teeth. One time he brought the brush up and moved his head back and forth instead of the brush. It was like he knew exactly where to go with the brush. Then he was given his electric razor. And after watching Val do it, he shaved part of his face. Then he was given a banana, and as Val held it, he peeled it, just like she asked him to. It took effort, and it wasn't as smooth as when he did it in Drowning Melville, for any of you that remember that scene, but he did it. And it was amazing.

Ian and I got to spend a lot of time outside today. We went for a walk in the sun, and then watched a thunderstorm approach. It was so neat to hear the thunder, and then see the lightning in the distance, and watch the rain come toward us. I don't remember if Ian likes thunderstorms or not, but it's a familiar sound to all of us and I'm glad that he got to hear it.

Today Ian began a new medicine. His doctor heard about it at a conference and right away wanted it for Ian. It's usually given to patients with Parkinson's disease but has been found to give a little boost to patients like Ian who are plateaued around stage 3 on the coma scale. Our hope is not in this medicine. Our hope is in God. But God has the power to, if He chooses, use this medicine to progress Ian's healing. Please pray that Ian would respond to this medicine in a positive way. Pray that we would see dramatic improvements. Pray that he would talk to us soon.

As a side note, Jubilee Christian School, thank you for all of the wonderful cards, notes and CD's that you have been sending to Ian, beginning way back in the ICU. We would love for you to make some Easter cards and other things that we can put in Ian's room. It'd be great for Ian to have some new things to look at!

Ian is definitely still with us, and for that I am so thankful. But I want to keep praying that he soon speaks our names.

Laris

Hmmm....

This saturday, while painting the finishing touches on the bathroom walls, I realized something: our house is now in the shape of a cross. Ian's addition creates the other side of a cross beam that, from the air, forms the shape of a cross with the garage. I don't know if it means anything, but I thought it was interesting.

-Ben

Grace Unmeasured

"Grace unending all my days gives me strength to run this race. And when my years on earth are through the praise will all belong to you."

It's so cool to me how songs can take you back to another time in your life. I was just listening to Grace Unmeasured and I was taken back to this past summer, listening to my IPod on the Pittsburgh city bus to go downtown to work. This song daily reminded that it was God's grace along that would sustain me through the summer. Ian was in Lancaster working on the movie set and I was missing him like crazy. It was the first time our relationship had to be long distance and it was tough. He was working insane hours, six days a week and of course I was being a needy girlfriend and wanted to talk to him as soon as I got off work every day.

While that trial seems so small compared to what we're facing now, it is such a reminder to me of God's faithfulness, grace and fruit in every trial. In just one example, IUP gave Ian his college degree because he worked so hard this summer. My friend Jen was quick to remind me of this one way that shows the reward of our tough summer. And I believe that Ian will one day use his degree in a great way. God's grace sustained us through the summer and surely it will sustain us now.

When Ian and I returned from our three months apart, our time with each other was that much sweeter.

I can't wait for that sweetness after these six months apart.

Larissa

Taking every thought captive

Ian's progress (or lack of it) has provided an opportunity to practice taking my thoughts captive to obey Christ (2 Cor 10:5). For example, I visited Ian today while the speech therapist was working with him, and it struck me for some reason how he wasn't swallowing completely. That thought hit me at first like a surprise punch in the stomach. But, I had to capture that thought and remind myself of the command of Scripture to rejoice (Phil 4:4-7) and make my thought obey Christ. I've been studying that passage lately. I'm to rejoice because of the kindness God has shown me. I'm to rejoice because God is in control. I'm to rejoice because of the truth that God's favor toward Ian and toward all of us has not changed. So, I reminded myself of the progress Ian has made, and Larissa reminded me of that progress. I reminded myself that God has shown him mercy. I reminded myself that God's favor hasn't left Ian. I reminded myself that my confidence is in God not in what I see of Ian's progress, and I made my thoughts turn again to Christ.

These momentary discouraging thoughts sometimes come with lightening speed and with some serious power behind them. Sometimes they're glancing blows. It's always a lot of work, though, like climbing up a long flight of uneven steps. Sometimes the steps are harder to get up, and sometimes they're easier. But, it's always work. Thankfully, there is grace to strengthen, and we remain in peace.

The building of the addition to our house continues thanks to so many people who give of their time. We learned today that an issue of how some of Ian's hospital bills were to be paid was resolved. And, the best news of the day was that on a couple of occasions Ian reached to take Larissa's hand in response to some things she said to him, things that would normally have elicited a response like that. Cool.

Thanks for praying.

Steve

The Cross

"When Ian gets better he will come on a picnic with us too. Won't that be great?" -Lydia

I have been freshly reminded today of the power and beauty of the gospel. We are all sinners, deserving God's wrath. We daily sin against a holy God, mocking Him and hating Him in our sin. We have nothing on our own to offer God.

But God in His lavish mercy, sent His son to die for us, the very people that hated Him. Because of Jesus' blood, we are considered righteous before our heavenly father. On judgement day, it will not be our friends, our jobs or our riches that gain us access to heaven- it is Jesus alone. His perfect, sinless life is attributed to us.

Jesus saves us even when we are running straight to hell. He turns a heart of stone into a heart of gold. There is no need to prove ourselves to God, or feel like we have to read every chapter of the Bible in order for Him to save us. By His mercy, He gives us the free gift of salvation through Jesus Christ.

The struggles of this affliction are pale compared to the glories of the cross. It is the simple yet profound truth of the gospel that gives myself, the Murphys and Ian strength each morning. When we get to heaven, Jesus himself will wipe away every tear from our eyes. Ian will one day be completely healed. His soul is entrusted to Christ. When we focus on that truth, there is no room for fear.

Larissa

Where's Larissa?

That was the question the speech therapist asked Ian. She asked him to turn and look at Larissa, and he did it. Once again, those are signs to us that he's really in there...somewhere.

He was in his "stander" and was moving all around with his hands and hips. The stander rubs on his knee a bit, so he has a sore there now.

Larissa mentioned in her previous post that he has something called MRSA in his right eye. I understand that we likely all have this (bacteria?) in our bodies, but we don't feel it's effects. Ian does, and it plays out like an infection that is very itchy for him. When his arm brace is off, he goes for his eye with his hand to scratch and rub his eye. That action could lead to the spread of this infection. If he rubs his eye, then the infection transfers to his hand and from there to other parts of his body. Please pray for his eye.

Thank you for your prayers.

Steve

“My sole possession is thy love;
In earth beneath, or heaven above,
I have no other store;
And though with fervent suit I pray,
And importune thee day by day,
I ask thee nothing more.”

(Ian has an infection in his right eye and the skin on his injured knee is breaking open a little bit. But still he rests peacefully.)

Patience

The weirdest thing made me cry last night. I was on my way to Walmart and Free Falling by Tom Petty came on the radio. I didn't realize that I had an emotional attachment to the song, and for any of you that know the words, it's not a song that would typically make someone cry. But when I heard it, I just had a flashback to being in the car with Ian. I don't remember where we were going, but this song came on and he just started belting out the words. He loves to sing and Free Falling is one of those songs where it's almost better to just yell the words with tons of dramatic emotion than to just sing it- and Ian is great at that. Every minute with Ian is like this. He is more full of life than anyone that I've ever met. That's what makes this experience that much harder.

We don't have as many updates to post as we did back in the ICU or even at Life Care. That is such a blessing, that we don't have to report on any more huge surgeries. But at times it can feel like we have just been waiting- waiting for him to talk, waiting for him to just wake up and tell me how much he missed me while he was gone. I don't want to lose sight of the huge miracles that God has already performed in Ian's recovery. But wow, I think I can speak for the Murphys as well as for myself, that we are learning more and more about patience every day. We are learning what it means to trust in the Lord and wait on Him and His perfect timing.

"Our soul waits for the LORD; he is our help and our shield. For our heart is glad in him, because we trust in his holy name. Let your steadfast love, O LORD, be upon us, even as we hope in you. "

Psalm 33:20-22

I'm so glad that God knows the ending of this story....and that it is perfect for us.

Larissa

Moment by moment

Ever since the wreck I've been in a mode that isn't natural for me. I like to think big picture, to think ahead, to plot a course, to think about and plan for tomorrow. The wreck has forced me to focus only on the next moment and maybe the next day. It's too overwhelming to think beyond the next moment. I've learned (or, rather, I've been forced) to lean on Christ, to entrust the next days and weeks and months and years to Him. I don't know what will happen tomorrow. Difficulties like this have a way forcing us into this position of moment by moment trust in the power and wisdom and sovereignty and kindness of God...but, then, that's where I should have been all along. I pray that Ian knows the same moment by moment trust.

Pray that Ian would begin to talk to us. Thank you for your prayers.

Steve

ICU Psychosis

We heard a report of a man who was in the ICU for three weeks and experienced what has been termed ICU Psychosis. He appeared completely disoriented and out of it. Ian has been in an ICU environment for nearly six months. I can't imagine how disoriented he must feel.

That's why we want to bring him home. We want him back to familiar surroundings. We want Lydia, his three-year-old sister, to be able to climb all over him and talk to him. We want him to hear her talking to him, talking to herself, and singing to herself the cute nonsense songs we hear all the time. We want him to be with people he knows and loves all the time. We want him at some point to be at our church - the church he loves so much - on a Sunday morning. It's going to be very difficult to take care of him, I think...but it will be the best thing for him at this point. We're extremely grateful to the people at the Children's Institute, but I think they're absolutely right to want to get him into familiar surroundings by sending him home.

What you're seeing in this picture is the bathroom that's taking shape in Ian's room in the addition. Thanks Dave and Bob! It's looking great!

Pray for us as we face another difficult chapter in the story of Ian's recovery. Pray for good weather over the next few weeks; the paving company needs it to even consider installing a driveway to the addition. We need a driveway to even consider getting him into the addition - even the first day home - and his arrival home is very soon. The goal of the staff at the Children's Institute is to send him home in two to four weeks.

Most of all, pray for Ian.

Steve

Perfect Timing

I remember as kids, maybe eight or nine, Ian and I were playing in his backyard. I turned to him and said, "Hey Ian, you know what I used to hate?"

"What's that?" he said.

"I used to hate it when we'd be playing outside and you'd say, 'I got and idea.' And I'd say 'What's that?' And you'd say 'I'm gonna go inside.' Boy, I really used to hate that!"

Ian looked at me for a moment and then said, not missing a beat, "I got an idea!"

"What's that?" I replied excitedly (maybe I was dumb, I don't know...).

"I'm gonna go inside," Ian said. And he did. And I burst into tears.

Ian's always had an amazing sense of comedic timing (I know, some of you are saying what's comedic about the story I've just relayed...looking back I think it's hilarious). And I can say with confidence that Ian's still got it.

Last Saturday, my brother Stephen and I were visiting Ian. We were singing some worship songs to him, "In Christ Alone", "Oh Faithful God", and others. After three or four songs Stephen asked Ian, "Are there any songs you want us to sing to you? Any favorite worship songs that you've been itching to hear?" Ian looked at Stephen for a long moment and then, in classic Ian style, he released a perfectly timed belch.

Ian is still making me laugh. I am so grateful to God for Ian and his humor.

David

Pray for Ian

When I pray for Ian, I usually pray for his physical needs and that he would come back to us soon. God laid it on my heart this afternoon to pray for encouragement and faith for Ian. He cannot go to church, cannot pick a worship song to listen to, and cannot even feed himself spiritually through reading the Word. I know how I feel after just one week of missing church or one day of skipping my devotional time. Ian hasn't been to church in five months. He hasn't been able to read his Bible in five months. Whenever we are with him, we try to read scripture and sing worship songs to him, but there are many hours that we are not there.

God is still with Ian. I believe that Ian is experiencing God in ways that we cannot understand. But I still want to pray that he would be encouraged. I want to pray that he is able to remember the cross, and remember all that Jesus has done for him. I want to pray that he would be refreshed by thoughts of the gospel. I have no idea where Ian's mind has been this whole time, but I want to pray that he can meditate on the cross and on God's goodness. How much more important is Ian's relationship with God than the condition of his body! I pray that he continues to believe true thoughts about our Lord. And I want to pray for abundant grace for the challenges he will face when he wakes.

Pray that Ian can see the fruit of this trial now. Pray that he can still know that God is good. Pray that he would know that he is still now, even in a coma, a vessel of honor for God.

"Therefore, if anyone cleanses himself from what is dishonorable, he will be a vessel for honorable use, set apart as holy, useful to the master of the house, ready for every good work."
2 Timothy 2:21

Larissa

The trustworthy leash of God's Word

Ian didn't have a good day today. He was asleep for the therapists, and he was asleep for Larissa and the McKelvys. It's days like these (which he has more infrequently now, I think) that provide some temptations. The more I think about Philippians 4:4-7, though, the sweeter one phrase becomes. Here's the passage again: "Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, Rejoice. [5] Let your reasonableness be known to everyone. The Lord is at hand; [6] do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. [7] And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." The phrase that becomes sweeter to me the more I meditate on it is "the Lord is at hand."

The Lord who died for me and for Ian is at hand. The Lord who rules the universe and is perfectly capable of ruling our unique set of circumstances is on top of this. The Lord who cares for us and whose favor was demonstrated by Christ's death for us is very much involved. The Lord who is powerful yet also mysterious and who is not required to answer to us for his actions is nevertheless at hand. This is either true because Scripture is true or it's not true at all. The Lord is at hand ruling. The Lord is at hand to heal. The Lord is at hand to comfort. The Lord is at hand to guide. The Lord is at hand though I can't see Him.

The powerful emotions that I experience require the leash of God's Word; it's comforting to be yanked back by it. I would run into the path of all kinds of trouble were it not for that trustworthy leash of God's Word bringing me back.

Thank you for praying for Ian.

Steve

The Truimph of His Art

"Mark the error of despair. We should see that the case of a praying man cannot be desperate---that if a man be out of the pit of hell, he is on the ground of grace. We should see that God sees a way of escape when we see none---that nothing is too hard for him---that He warrants our dependence, and invites us to call on Him in the day of trouble, and gives promise of deliverance." John Newton wrote that. John Piper calls him a "great and tender warrior against despair in other people's lives. Long trials, like this one that Ian and his family and friends are going through often tempt us to despair. Their response of faith, instead of despair continues to teach us all the truth of what John Newton said hundreds of years ago, and continues to prove that God never changes. He takes perfect care of His people; from Adam and Eve to Ian and his loved ones. In John Piper's "Life as a Vapor" he tells us that Newton's favorite poet, George Herbert, lived more than 100 years before him, and then goes on to record one of Herbert's poems. This is how I want to instruct my own soul:

Away, Despair! My gracious Lord doth hear:
Though winds and waves assault my keel,
He doth preserve it: He doth steer,
Ev'n when the boat seems most to reel:
Storms are the triumph of His art:
Well may He close His eyes, but not His heart.

Hundreds of years after our brother, George Herbert lived to write that line, our God proves it to be true for His children today. His greatest, most precious, loveliest, and most enduring works are done during the storms of our lives. "...in faithfulness You have afflicted me." Ps. 119:75. It's in the storms where our hearts are revealed, and our most loving Father knows that our sin is far more dangerous and deadly to His children than any trial or affliction could ever be. This is a long and hard trial that He's brought into our friend's lives; one that I don't think that I could bear up with the grace and dignity that they have and are. Let's be hard in prayer against the temptation of despair, while we wait for their son and brother and our friend to wake up.

Pray that he could sing again

Mary was with Ian today and said he was moving around a lot as we've noticed him doing more in the last week or so. He was in his stander today and appeared to be struggling to reach an area on his body that was bothering him, so Mary put her hand there and made an adjustment or two. He responded by simply not reaching for that spot anymore. One nurse as he was taking care of Ian asked him to lift his arm for some reason, and he did. Twice more the nurse made the same request, and he did it each time. Fairly consistently now, he rubs his nose and eyes and goes for "sleepies" in his eyes. These are small signs of progress.

Here's a new prayer request: pray that he would talk. He appears to be trying, but he just can't get it all together to pull it off. He can make noise, though we haven't heard that in a while, either. Pray that he would make noise with his voice. Pray that he would begin to say words. In fact, pray that one day he could sing and worship again.

Crown Him with many crowns, the Lamb upon His throne.

Hark! How the heavenly anthem drowns all music but its own.

Awake, my soul, and sing of Him who died for thee,

And hail Him as thy matchless King through all eternity.

Awake, [Ian], and sing of Him who died for thee!

Steve

The Obstacles In Our Way

On one of those days, as he was teaching, Pharisees and teachers of the law were sitting there, who had come from every village of Galilee and Judea and from Jerusalem. And the power of the Lord was with him to heal. 18And behold, some men were bringing on a bed a man who was paralyzed, and they were seeking to bring him in and lay him before Jesus, 19but finding no way to bring him in, because of the crowd, they went up on the roof and let him down with his bed through the tiles into the midst before Jesus. 20And when he saw their faith, he said, "Man, your sins are forgiven you." Luke 5:17-20

I heard a sermon on this passage several weeks ago from our pastor Joe Ryer. Joe made the point that the friends of the paralytic refused to let any obstacles, large or small, stand in their way. Think about it for a minute. Their friend was paralyzed and probably hadn't walked for decades, so they hauled him around on a stretcher. People were packed into every crack of the house, making it impossible to get through the door. So they went up onto the roof, cut out a large hole, and then helped their paralyzed friend rappel down into the house. These guys absolutely refused to give up. They clung to hope like a pit bull locks on to a piece of meat. Why? Because they knew who was in the house. They knew that Jesus could heal their friend in an instant. So they pressed on.

I face obstacles when I pray for Ian. I face fears, doubts, and lots of unbelief. But Joe's message sparked a fire in my heart. I will not let these obstacles stop me from praying for my friend Ian. By God's grace, I resolve to keep praying, over and over, without fail. I resolve to bring my friend Ian to the Savior again and again. Will you join with me? Let's resolve to continue pressing through all obstacles and praying for our friend.

-Stephen A

It Feels Like Spring Outside

We had a great day with Ian today. He was very awake when we got there and really looking at my mom and I. He had another great session of speech therapy and was doing a lot with his left arm. He was reaching for the wires on his face again and he's still itching his eyes and nose whenever he gets a chance. He was making me laugh this afternoon because when he itches his nose it almost makes his whole torso move. So he would vigorously itch his nose and then quickly turn his head back to where I was and really look at me. It was like he was either saying, I'm trying to tell you something, or wow, this really itches.

He was really awake when we left and that is always tough emotionally. But I just remind him (and myself) that he's never alone- Jesus is always with him.

Steve got this email today from our neighbor and we wanted to share it with all of you:

I have been following this blog for a long while and was touched by the many beautiful messages that have been posted so far. In many instances, I was compelled to post something of the same but have always been reluctant, afraid that my words will not be up to par nor would they measure up to the beautiful phrases that have been woven together and posted in this blog. But finally, I have decided to put a couple words together, hopefully they shed a light on how we feel toward our lovely neighbors. I want to start with a prayer that puts me to tears anytime I read it or hear it being read: the FOOTPRINTS:

One night a man had a dream. He dreamed he was walking along the beach with the Lord, and across the skies flashed scenes from his life. In each scene He noticed two sets of footprints in the sand. One was his, and one was the Lord's. When the last scene of his life appeared before him, he looked back at the footprints in the sand, and, to his surprise, He noticed that many times along the path of his life there was only one set of footprints. And He noticed that it was at the lowest and saddest times in his life. He asked the Lord about it: "Lord, you said that once I decided to follow you, you would walk with me all the way. But I notice that during the most troublesome times in my life there is only one set of footprints. I don't understand why you left my side when I needed you most." The Lord said: "My precious child, I never left you during your time of trial. Where you see only one set of footprints, I was carrying you."

May God send the angels to put the Murphy’s on their wings, to carry them during this challenging time so when they look back and see no footprints they know the goodness in them that God sent his angels to carry them.

May God hold and embrace the Murphy’s during this ordeal so we may all one day look back and say “Thank you God for enabling us to see the goodness in you that we were not able to see before”.

May God help bring Ian into the beautiful creature that God created him to be so one day he may look back and say “Thanks God for carrying me through the time of trial and suffering”. In God’s name I pray.

-Azad (on behalf of my lovely wife Selar and our precious baby daughter Vania)

The Wonderful Cross

When we stopped in to see Ian today, he has just gotten back into bed. I took his hand braces off so that he would hopefully use his arm a little bit. He definitely did, by itching his nose and his eyes. And he very deliberately wiped "sleepies" out of the corner of his eyes. He used one finger to do it in a way that it seemed so purposeful. It was really exciting and encouraging to see. Now if he would just start talking!

The addition looks great- the walls are plastered. It's looking more and more like a room. Lydia and I were taking a walk through it tonight, and just started talking about Ian and how we miss him. Lydia said "Ian is going to dance with you, when he feels better." She also said that she's going to sleep in his room with him- I can't wait for him to hear her voice every day again.

I've been reading through the gospels and am amazed again and again that not only did God send Jesus to die for me, but He has given me a wonderful life here on earth. Even though we are sinners, deserving of hell, in His infinite love he gives us even more than just salvation. He comforts us in affliction and promises to deliver us. He provides for our every need- we are never in want. He allows us to glorify Himself and become more like Christ. He allows us to grow and be fruitful and reveals himself to us more and more each day. And it is all because of the cross. How I long to grow in my understanding and love for the cross. When we focus on the cross, every fear, every trial, every doubt quickly fades. It is at the foot of the cross that the greatest love for us is shown and it as at the foot of the cross that our hope is found.

Larissa

Joy and Sadness

I helped with our addition today. Watching it take shape (and so quickly) is really sad for me. I never wanted an addition; it's just a painful reminder of Ian's condition. Don't misunderstand: we're incredibly grateful for all that everyone has given to us and for all the ways people have served us. But, he needs this. I just want Ian back the way he was.

What has amazed me from the beginning, though, is what seems to be a paradox in my experience: this sadness and grief that I experience coexist with joy and peace. It seems that it would be like describing someone as big and little or water as hot and cold. In reality, underneath the topsoil of sadness and grief (which runs deep), there's the bedrock of the cross of Christ to which I and my family, including Ian, have responded in faith. Because He called us to be his own and through the cross made us His own, God has good in store for us. "I believe that I shall look upon the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living!" (Ps. 27:13). That bedrock doesn't crumble under the weight of grief; in fact, it bears the weight of grief well. It's the cross and it's declaration of the Lord's favor for me and my family that gives me peace. I can even laugh and have fun in the middle of my pain, because I know that there's a bedrock beneath it that will sustain me.

Don't forget to share your favorite Ian story in the previous post. We've enjoyed those.

Pray for Ian....

Steve

Real Man or Mannequin

One day this summer, Ian and I were walking down a street in Lancaster, where he was living for the summer. A buggy went by with a man in it. Immediately I had a thought that I should have kept as a thought, but instead I said it out loud. "Is that a mannequin?" That was all the bait that Ian needed to latch on. In typical Ian fashion, for at least the next five minutes, he convinced me that yes, in fact there were mannequins driving buggies around Lancaster. Somehow, somewhere in my brain it made sense that it really could be a mannequin- if there ever was a guy that looked exactly like a mannequin, it was the one that I just saw. Logic told me it wasn't possible, but I trusted that what Ian told me was true. Relationships are based around trust! But that was my first mistake- if you know Ian's sense of humor, you know that he should rarely be trusted in a situation like that.

Ian finally gave in and let me know the truth- probably because the thought of dating someone who believed a mannequin could drive a buggy was too much for him to bear. I probably punched him in the arm for keeping the lie giong for so long, and then I got over it- so it's now become a good joke between us.

If you have any classic Ian moments, add them as a comment to this entry. It's good to remember who we're praying for.

Larissa

*photo courtesy of mannequinstore.com

The Solid Rock

Ian's mouth is healing so much. It looks so much better than it did a few weeks ago. His doctor has concluded that the yeast is gone from his mouth, as well as the other infection that he had. There is a either still an unknown infection hanging around somewhere or his mouth simply becomes sore from him breathing through his mouth all of the time. Either way, it is looking much better. Thank you so much for all of your prayers for that specific need.

Two women from our church went to visit Ian today and reported that he looked great. They hadn't seen him for a few weeks and said that he was wide awake and looking good!

For the past few days, I've had "On Christ the Solid Rock I Stand" running through my head. What a blessing for God to bring this song to my mind that I may meditate on it:

My hope is built on nothing less,
Than Jesus' blood and righteousness.
I dare not trust the sweetest frame,
But wholly lean on Jesus' Name.

When darkness seems to hide His face,
I rest on His unchanging grace.
In every high and stormy gale,
My anchor holds within the veil.

His oath, His covenant, His blood,
Support me in the whelming flood.
When all around my soul gives way,
He then is all my hope and stay.

On Christ the solid rock I stand,
All other ground is sinking sand,

Much around my soul has given way, and many of my earthly props have been removed. Among many things, the comfort of always having my best friend and boyfriend available to be with me, talk to me and console me is not here right now. But this is where I should be, more aware that it is on Christ alone that I stand and in Christ alone where my hope is found. How good it is to meditate on Christ's unchanging grace.

"Through him we have also obtained access by faith into this grace in which we stand, and we rejoice in hope of the glory of God."
Romans 5:2

Larissa

"Out of my distress I called on the Lord; the Lord answered me and set me free. The Lord is on my side; I will not fear. What can man do to me? The Lord is on my side as my helper...it is better to take refuge in the Lord than to trust in man." - Psalm 118:5-7

The words "The Lord is on my side" are such a comfort. Romans 8:31 puts it this way: "God is for us". Think about that for a minute. God is for us. The Sovereign Maker of the universe, who has authority over angels and demons and rulers and nations and wind and waves and viruses and the smallest of molecules, is for us. We who are "accounted as dust on the scales...as less than nothing and emptiness" (Isaiah 40:15,17) have the almighty, risen Christ on our side.

What do we have to fear? God is for us, on our side, and is therefore exerting all of his sovereign power for our good and his glory.

God is for Ian! Oh, it seems like there is so much against Ian right now. But God is on Ian's side! Jesus Christ, the living and ruling Lord, is working on Ian's behalf at this very minute. "God is for us". This is our hope. This is Ian's hope. When all is said and done our hope isn't in doctors, or medicine, or hospitals (and believe me, we are so very grateful for all of these). Our hope is in the fact that Jesus Christ is on our side.

"I do not cease to give thanks for you, remembering you in my prayers, that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of glory, may give you a spirit of wisdom and of revelation in the knowledge of him, having the eyes of your hearts enlightened, that you may know what is the hope to which he has called you, what are the riches of his glorious inheritance in the saints, and what is the immeasurable greatness of his power toward us who believe..." -- Ephesians 1:17-19

David

Today was a good day

Mary went to visit Ian today. Larissa and I were both sick, so we stayed away. We didn't want to get him sick. Mary said he had a really good day. He was very alert and responsive. During speech therapy he reached up to grab the "e-stim" wires from his throat. Mary said they actually had to pull his fingers away from the wires so he wouldn't pull them off. The speech therapist has a little vibrating gadget that stimulates the nerves in his face, and he doesn't like it. He was pushing it away. He also reached up and rubbed his eye. All these small things are very big for us and for Ian, because they convince us he's in there.

This is the hardest thing we've ever experienced...but I still trust God. I've watched him provide for us at the last minute. I've watched him save people I was praying for. I've watched him work out circumstances in ways that amazed me. "No proof is so convincing as experience. No one doubts the power of prayer after receiving an answer of peace. It is the distinguishing mark of the true and living God that He hears and answers the pleas of His people" (Spurgeon). We've experienced his peace, His power, His provision, His mercy, His love. I don't know what will happen with Ian, but I trust God.

Send up your pleas to the true and living God for Ian. He hears and answers.

Steve

Israel, Joseph, Ian and the Murphys

I assume most of us know the story of Joseph, right? Joseph was his father Israel's (also known as Jacob) favorite son. But Joseph's brother's hated him, selling him into slavery, and telling Israel that Joseph was dead; killed by a wild animal. For years, Israel mourned the death of his beloved son. However, as Israel mourned, God was at work. God took Joseph from being a slave in Egypt to being Pharaoh's right hand man. As the second most powerful man in Egypt, Joseph prepared the country for seven years famine that were coming. The famine came to not only Egypt, but also to Canaan, the land where Israel and his remaining sons lived. Israel sent his sons to Egypt to buy grain and in God's sovereignty they did so from Joseph. As the story of Joseph and Israel comes to an end, the two are reunited and Joseph brings his two sons to meet their grandfather. As Israel, now an old man nearing death, embraces his grandsons he says, "I never expected to see your face [Joseph]; and behold, God has let me see your offspring also." (Gen. 48:11)

For years, Israel thought his son was dead. He had come to accept the perceived reality that Joseph was dead. But as he mourned, he had no idea all the good that God was accomplishing through Joseph. Here's the reality: God used Joseph in Egypt to save the lives of his entire family. Had there not been food available in Egypt (which Joseph was responsible for), Israel and all of his sons and daughters would have perished in the famine. Israel assumed he would die without seeing Joseph again, God had other plans.

Right now, it feels like we'll never see Ian again the way he was. As we see Ian lying in his bed, unable to talk or walk or laugh or make hilarious, sarcastic remarks, it seems like the old Ian is gone. It seems like we'll "never see his face" again. In many ways, it feels like the old Ian is dead.

But, like Israel, we have no idea all the good God is accomplishing in this. And, we can't begin to imagine what the future holds. We serve a God who loves to surprise his people. We serve a God who raises the dead. How kind is Jesus? Not only did he allow Israel to be reunited with his son, he also allowed Israel to see his grandsons! Oh, let's look forward to what the future holds! Though things seem bleak right now, though things seem as if they'll never change, let's look beyond the "reality" of the situation to the REALITY of our great God and Savior!

"Glory to God, the raiser of the dead...
Glory to God, the lifter of my head..."

--

David

Divine Grace

Ian was wide awake when I got to the hospital this afternoon. He seemed much more aware than he had the past few days. He was scratching his nose and his chin with his left hand. He was moving his left foot around a lot too and it looked like maybe it was itching. It was a very refreshing visit with him- when he was awake, he was awake. And when he was asleep, it was a very peaceful sleep. It was great because I snuck a Sunday afternoon nap in there too when we fell asleep watching the Travel channel.

Steve thanked several people on his post this morning who have donated supplies and time to the addition project. But there are many more who have been serving the Murphy's through financial gifts, and for that we are very grateful and very blessed.

"If none of God's saints were poor and tried, we should not know half so well the consolations of divine grace...God's grace is illustrated and magnified in the poverty and trials of believers. Saints bear up under every discouragement, believing that all things work together for their good, and that out of apparent evils a real blessing shall ultimately spring- that their God will either work a deliverance for them speedily or most assuredly support them in the trouble, as long as He is pleased to keep them in it. This patience of the saints proves the power of divine grace."

-Spurgeon

We're learning about that patience...

Laris

Facia faces

Norm Burns and Doug Brown were putting up the facia and gutters on the addition on Saturday. So many people have helped us, and so many businesses have given us materials. At some point, I'd like to publish a list of all the businesses that have helped us. I don't think I could produce the long list of people who have helped us. It would be impossible to remember. I can't tell you how grateful we are.

The electricity and the plumbing were started and nearly finished. The walls for the rooms are up. The soffit, facia, and gutters were started and nearly finished. Our house is chaos. I'm not complaining. :-) It's the "new normal" in Larissa's words.

Steve

To Be An Outsider

I was only with Ian for about an hour tonight and he seemed to be having another sluggish day. He was half awake, but wasn't really focusing with his eyes and didn't really seem aware that we were with him. But he looks so much like himself and it's such a blessing to be with him and hold his hand.

I often wonder what we look like from the outside. The other day I saw a patient who appears to be in a condition similar to Ian. I saw some of her family with her and was overwhelmed with pity for them. And then I realized that I'm the same as them- I just can't see it. Sometimes I think though that it may be sadder looking from the outside. It might be sadder for people who only know Ian as he is now. The man that I fell in love with is still very much alive to me. When I'm pushing him in his chair, when I'm watching him in therapy, when I'm reminding him why he's in a hospital, I'm with the same person who asked me on our first date last November. I don't always see the wheelchair- I see my boyfriend. Being able to see Ian like this is only possible through God's grace. I know the weakness of my own heart, but "He is the strength of my heart and my portion forever."

I don't want to believe that the man that I love is gone or that Mary and Steve's son as they know him to be is gone. I pray for faith to continue believing that he is with us now and will be until God fully restores him. And I'm praying for faith that if Ian doesn't come back to us fully, our futures are still good and we will someday see him in heaven, completely healed. No matter what happens, Ian is a part of our lives. We will continue to love him through the love that God has given us.

"What joy above all joys to know that I am His everlasting and inalienable inheritance, given to Him by His father before the earth was formed! Everlasting love shall be the pillow on which I rest my head tonight."
-Spurgeon

goodnight

larissa

The windows are in...

...and the roof is on. It's coming along thanks to so many kind and hard working volunteers and generous donors of materials. Soon the interior walls will be up and the doors hung. The plumbing and electricity are supposed to be started tomorrow.

Larissa returned tonight with the news that Ian had a sluggish day today. Those are hard days. We keep hoping for the good days when he's awake and alert and doing something new to show us he's in there. "Hope deferred makes the heart sick." We look forward to the day when we can get him around his family all the time and in familiar surroundings.

Pray for a full recovery...

Steve

Why do bad things happen to good people?

"The unfolding of your words gives light;
it imparts understanding to the simple." (Psalm 119:130)

Why do bad things happen to good people? Can God's Word (the Bible) help us understand this?


I have to remind myself of this often:

First, I see from the bible that there are no good people:

"None is righteous, no, not one...no one seeks for God...no one does good, not even one"

(Romans 3:10-12)

Pretty harsh, huh? But the bible doesn't stop here, there's good news! Jesus took the blame for my lack of good (). Now, I know that nothing that happens to us is bad (in the long run):

"And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good" (Romans 8:28).

So now I understand why "bad things happen to good people." They don't.

"Bad things happen to bad people," and when we trust in Jesus, "[only] Good things happen to bad people."

I can take comfort in the fact that what is happening to me is not ultimately bad, and even if it was, that's what I deserve. I am so thankful for Jesus' substitute for me!

-Ben

Up in one day

In one day, eight guys from the church put up the frame of our addition along with the roof and the tar paper. Pretty incredible. Stuff is happening so fast with this that I can't keep up. Thank you all for all your kindness!

I saw Ian today. It was good to see him getting therapy instead of being treated for the wound on his back.

We still don't really know the cause of the nastiness in his mouth. I don't want to describe what I saw a couple days ago. Apparently, it's not the yeast that was there before, nor is it the other bacteria that plagued his other wounds. Please pray that they figure out what it is or that it just goes away.

At this point (as I understand it), other than his mouth there are no medical issues preventing therapy, so he's getting a full dose of it now. Please pray for a continued healing of his brain injury. Pray that he would recognize us more. Pray that he would respond to the therapists' commands consistently. Pray that he would make some more significant strides in his recovery. Pray that he could begin to eat solid foods. Pray for Ian.

Steve